Perfection
by Lune-Solei
Summary: JxA Gasp! Jeremie faces problems with the materialzation formula and questions himself and others. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own them, it, anything.

**Pairing:** JxA kinda.

**Warning:** Nonsensical things will be discussed in this story. Please don't read if you are sane.

**Rating:** G...PG...something like that.

**Chapter:** 1-1

**Author's Note:** This came to me as I was lying in bed contemplating my existence and watching Project Runway while talking to Ems on the phone. So, if you want someone to blame, blame Project Runway or Ems but not me or my mind. We are innocent victims in a world gone horribly, horribly wrong. Ems, in a way, this is in thanks to you. So you share the dedication with Rae. Enjoy. Please review.

_"Hello Jeremie. How are you today?"_

_"I'm fine sir. How are you?" _

_"I'm doing just well." He flipped through some papers on his clipboard. "I see you've been causing a bit of a fuss lately. Not sleeping well?"_

_"No. I've been having nightmares."_

_"That's okay. We can fix nightmares. What about the disturbance you caused in the cafeteria yesterday afternoon?" He raised his eyes from the papers in front of him, sighing deeply. "Jeremie will you please answer the question?"_

_"It was a one-time thing. I promise I won't do it again."_

_"Why did you do it in the first place?"_

_"I don't know."_

_He sighed deeply. "You've always been such a good boy Jeremie. You've never caused a ruckus before now." A pause from the man as he flipped through more pages. "Alright then. I'll see you tomorrow."_

* * *

"Jeremie!"

He glanced up, grinning when he saw the pink haired girl running toward him. She dashed across the stone courtyard, coming to a stop before him, eyes glittering and smiling brightly.

"Hello Aelita."

"Hello Jeremie. How are you?" she asked, taking his hand and leading him through the courtyard.

"Alright, and you?"

They made their way along the cobblestones, part of the original design of the school, and across a grassy patch where some kids were playing with frisbee's until they reached the bench they all met at. "I'm good. I had a wonderful dream!"

"Really?"

"Yes. Xana was defeated in it and we were able to live happily ever after," she told him, still smiling.

"That is wonderful," he agreed. The others were already there, Odd was sprawled across the bench, Ulrich sitting under the tree tossing some sort of ball, and Yumi trying to shove Odd's feet off her lap.

"Einstein! What's kept you? We've been waiting ages," Odd exclaims, jumping up, much to Yumi's apparent relief.

"Sorry Odd, my alarm didn't go off," Jeremie explains, smiling.

"Sure Einstein, that's it," Odd laughed. Jeremie rolled his eyes as he sat down on the bench, Aelita between himself and Yumi. Odd glanced at the three. "Where am I supposed to sit?"

"On the ground."

"It's dirty," he joked. He grinned then, jumping on all three of them so he was stretched out on their laps. "This is much better." Ulrich laughed from his spot at their faces, harder when they shoved Odd off.

"Nice one," Ulrich comments.

"You win this round because it's time for class. Just wait until later," Odd threatens as he stands and dusts himself off.

"Walk you to class?" Jeremie asks, looking at Aelita. She grins.

"Sure, after all, we're in the same one."

"You can tell me about your dream."

"I'd like that." They stand and step around Odd, wandering across the courtyard to the school. Odd glances at Yumi and Ulrich who only shrug in response.

* * *

_It's night. _

_He wanders his room, stopping to look out the window. Dark sky meets dark buildings meets dark trees. An owl hoots from somewhere outside, clouds cover the moon. The perfect setting for a midnight mystery he decides. He presses a hand to the cold glass and sees his breath emitting from his body._

_The light over his bed is on the fritz, humming loudly in the mostly-quiet night. It flickers, dies, comes back. He frowns up at it, rubbing his arms for warmth. The heater is out too. He crosses the room and kneels on the ground, picking up the pencil and paper, scribbling furiously in the dimming light, he has to complete the calculations._

_It's a need. _

_That's the only way he can describe it. He doesn't even know why he has to complete it. But he has to. Has to complete it. Soon. Before the upcoming week, before tomorrow, as fast as possible. He goes back, rereads the words he has written, the endless formulas stretching down the pages, taking over his mind, his life._

_The light flickers once more._

_The led is worn and dull, he needs to sharpen the pencil. _

_The light is flickering again, he needs a new one._

_The paper is before him, he needs to finish it._

_He needs to finish the formula.

* * *

_

"Jeremie. You look awful."

"Thanks Odd. Thanks."

The two blondes sit in the factory, Odd decided to accompany him for some reason today. Odd watches the younger boy working on the computer, typing quickly on the keys. Fingers flying, codes appearing row after row, page after page, on the computer screen. He props himself up and yawns widely.

"I mean it Jer. You look like a zombie. Completely "I am going to eat your innards slash I'm your slave." Haven't you been sleeping?" he asks. "You're all pasty looking and you look like you've got two black eyes."

"Leave me alone Odd, I'm trying to focus."

"Come on Jer. What's up? You can tell me."

"Nothing Odd. I've just been worried. I'm fine. Can I finish this now?" The purple clad boy shrugged and fell back onto the floor, looking up at the ceiling, concern flashing in his eyes.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," he muttered.

**"I'm** worried about Jer Ulrich."

He heard the whispered words coming from the room he was about to enter, hand poised in the air to push the door all the way open. Heard the shift of one body on a bed, the whispers continuing, and frowned, turning from the door.

He walked down the hall, descending the stairs, crossing the hall, knocking on the oak door. It opened and he smiled when he saw her. "Hi Aelita."

"Jeremie." A smile. "What's up?"

So little time here and she had already picked up the mannerisms, the speech patterns of earthlings. Then again, part of that could be contributed to Odd he supposed. She had her head tilted at an angle, so human-like, pink bangs falling into her eyes, hand grasping the doorknob, pale pink nail polish glittering on her nails, dressed in an oversized t-shirt and shorts, ready for bed.

"Not much," he replied. He smiled at her. "Can I come in for a bit?"

"Sure. I was just finishing my math homework," she answered. She opened the door wider and he entered the room, sitting on the floor. She closed the door, picking up her math notebook. "Where are Odd and Ulrich?"

"I don't know. I stopped by their room but no one was there. I guess they're out terrorizing someone," he commented. She nodded, scribbling furiously on the paper. "Why?"

She closed the notebook with a triumphant "done!" and put it in her backpack, pencil on her desk. "I don't know, I was just wondering." She looked up and he froze, watching her eyes. Two bulls-eyes, two xana symbols, staring back at him. "Jeremie?" She moved forward, eyes pulsing. "Jeremie, are you alright?"

He stammered something, wasn't sure what he actually said, something about computer crashes and Yumi's brother, leaving the room quickly. She frowned, watching him go, brushing pink bangs out of light green eyes, closing the door behind him.

* * *

_"Hey Jeremie."_

_He looked up from his bed. He was so tired, couldn't stand up, couldn't manage a smile. He just met their eyes, feeling himself drifting, weightless. It was cold in the room, still cold, was it winter already? No. If it were winder than he would have his coat and he didn't have it so it couldn't be winter. Could it?_

_"What's up?"_

_He gave a shrug of his shoulders, mustering his strength, pushing himself up so that he was sitting in bed, looking at them. Why was he so tired? Hadn't he been, didn't he, sleeping? He frowned, trying to remember, but could you really remember being asleep._

_"Einstein, it is my humble opinion that you look like shit. A skeleton in clothes. A hungry zombie. Something."_

_"Thanks Odd...Thanks a lot," he muttered softly._

_"Anytime," Odd replied. He wandered around the room, Jeremie's eyes flickering, following him, darting back to Ulrich who was leaning against the wall._

_"How are you Jeremie?" he asked. His eyes were worried, concerned, like Odd's, but deeper, hidden, unlike Odd who was open. _

_"I'm fine. Just cold."_

_"I'll get a blanket." The brown haired boy turned to the closet, reaching the top shelf to get the extra blanket stored there. Jeremie turned back to Odd who was on the other side of the room, crouching down, spikey head bent, looking at something. The papers._

_"You've been busy," he commented, rifling through them. "What do they mean."_

_"I've almost finished."_

_Almost...so close...The answers only came at night, in the cold, when the owls hooted and the moon was hidden in the clouds. Then he could work. Then he could calculate, could see the formulas so plainly in his mind. And then, then he could finish._

_"Finished what?" Ulrich asked, draping the blanket over his shivering body. How could he shiver when he didn't have strength for anything else?_

_"Finished the formula to get rid of xana and fully materialize Aelita," he said, exasperated._

_"Right Jeremie," Odd said, smiling, exchanging a look with the other boy when Jeremie's eyelids fluttered closed.

* * *

_

He awoke with a start, panting and breathing hard, sweat dripping down his back and temples, shirt sticking to his skin. He frowned, what had he been dreaming of? It had been important, important. He scrambled out of bed, sheet tangled around his right leg, forcing him down with a loud yet muffled thump.

He groaned, rubbing his elbow, feeling the sweat sticky on his fingertips, kicking off his blanket. He pulled himself into the computer chair and logged on, clicking on a file, fingers flying over the keyboard. It was all coming back to him now, the dream, the pain, the anguish. It was a premonition, he was sure of it, if he didn't figure it out tonight then Aelita would be lost, gone forever.

Dawn broke, it didn't register in his mind, shoulders hunched, glasses tilted on his face, eyes glassy, he typed as the light crept into his room, across his bed, searching, finding him. He frowned, as the light fell across him, warming him, leaning farther forward, typing faster, he couldn't lose. He couldn't lose her.

The bedroom door opened but that didn't break his concentration either. Ulrich and Odd exchanged looks, before approaching him. "Jeremie?" Ulrich asked.

"Einstein, what happened to you?"

They looked at the scrolling letters and numbers, symbols and arrows, trying to figure out what he was doing. "Come on Jer," Ulrich whispered. He grabbed Jeremie by the arm, pulling him away from the screen.

"What are you doing? I have to finish! I'm almost done!" the blonde boy exclaimed, shoving his glasses back into place.

"Just look at yourself!" Odd exclaimed. Jeremie looked down and saw the dry, crusting blood on his elbow, from when he'd fallen, blood flecks on his fingers, he ran them over his face and felt more crust.

"I had a bad dream," he defended. Odd rolled his eyes but Jeremie was already grabbing his clothes, storming from the room. "You two know better than to interrupt me anyway."

"Jeremie!"

"Forget it Odd. He doesn't want to listen to us."

**"Jeremie** what happened?"

He sat with Aelita in the courtyard during lunch. He shrugged as she pressed cool fingertips to the scratches on his cheek, trailing from his temple to his jaw. "I didn't have a good night."

"You did this to yourself?"

"In my sleep."

Her green eyes widened, taking on a frightened light. "I didn't know that sleep could be dangerous!"

"It isn't usually. It was a nightmare. Good news though, I'm almost done with the codes! I just need a few more formulas and you'll be here, permanently." She grinned at him, throwing her arms around him and hugging him tightly.

"Oh Jeremie! That's wonderful! Truly wonderful!"

"What's all the noise about?" Yumi asked, approaching them.

"Jeremie thinks he's almost finished with the codes that will banish xana and make me real!" Aelita exclaimed, turning her head to face Yumi, smile stretching from ear-to-ear.

"About time," Yumi laughed.

Jeremie laughed as well, looking at Aelita. The wind played with her hair, turned her cheeks pink, or was that her happiness over the news he'd given her? She was beautiful. Not human, better. She was perfect where a human could never be.

"Jeremie?" she asked, looking at him once more.

An endless green stared at him, light like the first shoots in spring, lighter than Odd's eyes, focused, pale, artificial almost. That would change, he vowed, when he made her fully human. When she was really perfect. But would making her human take away her perfection? He gave her a half smile back and then frowned as her eyes flickered. The green was gone, a deformed bulls-eye in their place among a sea of white.

* * *

_Yumi smiled as she walked over to him._

_He was sitting in the courtyard, autumn sunlight warming his thin body. He smiled when she sat down next to him. No one else was around at this time. It was after supper and they were indoors, sleeping, reading, playing games, talking amongst themselves. He was happy to have company._

_"Hey Jer, what's up?"_

_She pulled her hair back with one hand before letting it go in a cascade of black silk. He watched it carefully, noticing the way the light would catch certain parts of it and turn it purple or blue, like a raven's feathers. _

_"Not much. I'm waiting for Aelita."_

_Yumi nodded slowly, smiling at him reassuringly. "I'm sure she'll come Jer."_

_"She will. I know she will. She's just busy tonight, but she promised me today would be the day. She would come today."_

_"Why today?"_

_"Because I have it."_

_"Have what?"_

_"The formula. I figured it out. The final component. I can put it in tonight. She'll be here, with us. Forever. Perfect. She'll be real."_

_Yumi watched his features relax as he sank back against the bench and smiled. "That's great Jeremie. I'm sure she'll be pleased to hear that," she said softly. He nodded, still smiling._

_"She will be."_

_"I better go. My parents want me home at a decent hour tonight."_

_She stood to go and he gripped her wrist, fingers icy, thin, brittle but strong. She looked at the pale flesh stretched over the bone, remembered Odd's description of him looking like a skeleton and thought of how true it was. _

_"You don't want to stay and see?"_

_"I can't. I'll see tomorrow Jer. I can't wait."_

_**She** never came._

_Never showed._

_He waited until the sun sank below the trees and out buildings and the first hint of winter wind blew through the courtyard and he was forced inside. And he went to his room, shaking and pale, and unsure of what to do. He had lost his cell phone weeks ago, he couldn't call her. Could he go to her room? No...there were patrols in the halls._

_He would wait and confront her tomorrow. Yes that is what he would do. It was decided. He looked out the window at the night sky, obscured by clouds, the dark trees, dark buildings, and smiled faintly, thinly. The blinds fell closed with a sharp bang, moving back and forth against the glass, whispering softly in the quiet. He ignored them, crawling into bed, pulling the covers over him._

_She hadn't come._

_Why hadn't she come?_

_There had to be a reason. He knew that. She had never stood him up before. He thought back on it. When was the last time he had spoken to her? Days, hours, weeks ago? He couldn't remember. Probably hours, maybe a day. They had always been close. Ever since he had found her. Found her in that artificial world and realized how very real she was. How very..._

_...how perfect.

* * *

_

Jeremie walked down the hallway, ignoring the looks he received from the other students, from the girls. He knocked on the door, frowning when there wasn't an answer. He didn't understand. He'd called her cell and there'd been no answer, sent her an email and been told that her account had been deleted. Now there was no answer at her door.

"What are you doing here Jeremie?"

He looked up to see Emily standing next to him, looking at him curiously. She had a book in one hand, _Little Women_, Aelita had read that a few weeks ago. He smiled at her. "Hi Emily, how are you?"

"I'm fine..." she said slowly.

"Am I in your way?"

"No. No. I just, why are you here?"

He frowned, confused. Wasn't it obvious? He was here to see Aelita. "I came to see Aelita," he told her.

She frowned as well. "Aelita?"

"Yeah, you know her."

"Right, Aelita. Haven't seen her," she said. She shrugged. "Have fun looking for her." She walked away, down the hall to her dorm and he tried the door.

It swung open effortlessly and he entered the room, stopping when he'd entered, surprised. The pink walls were white, the bookshelves empty, bed made neatly, curtains gone, flower rug gone. "What the..." He opened the closet, finding the clothes gone, dust lining the shelves where just yesterday her clothes had hung on wire hangers. She'd been complaining, laughing, saying that she needed a bigger closet. He had told her she'd needed less clothes.

She was gone.

**"Where** is she?" he demanded, entering Odd and Ulrich's room without knocking. The two looked up quickly from a card game they'd been playing in the middle of the room.

"Who? Yumi?"

"No! I don't care where Yumi is!" The two on the floor looked confused. "Aelita! Where's Aelita!" he exclaimed. "What happened to her. Where is she? Did she go back?" he demanded.

One of the guys passing in the hallway glanced in, frowning and Odd sprang to his feet easily, shutting the door. Ulrich stood more slowly, watching Jeremie carefully. Jeremie glanced around at his friends, unsure, wary. What were they hiding, why hadn't they told him that she'd left? Had xana...had he been to late?

"Jeremie...listen to me carefully."

"Don't act so calm Ulrich! Where is she? Did xana get her? Answer me Ulrich!" He balled his hands into fists, feeling the urge to hit something, someone, but repressing it. He needed to be calm, collected. He had to find her. He couldn't lose her.

"We've never met an Aelita."

"Don't play with me Odd. Of course you have. Hello, Lyoko, xana, Aelita, saving the world. Don't you remember?"

The roommates exchanged looks again. "Jeremie," Ulrich began slowly, "we've never heard of Lyoko."

"The factory! We go there all the time to save the world from the evil computer virus xana!"

"We found the factory years ago Jer, remember? It was empty, except for the spiders," he smiled as Odd shuddered at the memory. "You were walking on one of the catwalks and it gave way and you fell. We thought you'd died but you only had a few broken bones. You were in a coma Jer. Don't you remember. Your better now."

"Yeah Jer, way better. And a complete genius now. Don't you remember, the city demolished the factory a few weeks ago. Everything's gone now."

_Everything_...

"What are you talking about guys? Aelita...Aelita...They demolished everything?"

"Yeah, from the top down," Odd replied, "It was so awesome. Watching it all go boom right in front of our eyes. Don't you remember, we went down to watch? You tried to stop them, told them it was a mistake and historical and blah, blah, blah."

"They killed her..." he whispered, sinking onto Odd's bed.

"Jer, she was never alive."

* * *

_"Jeremie?"_

_He looked up from where he sat at his desk, formulas surrounding him as the door opened and he saw them enter. He felt listless, empty. She still hadn't come like she'd promised._

_"Hello Jeremie."_

_Yumi walked over, sitting on his bed, smiling. Odd and Ulrich followed her in, sitting on the ground at her feet. They all looked pale, grey, tired. Worried. Yes, worry stood out prominently on their features._

_"Hello," he replied automatically._

_"What're you doing?"_

_They looked uncertain and he smiled suddenly, watching their confusion rise. Why not? She hadn't come, she didn't care. He could rip everything to shreds. Why didn't he? And he gripped the sheets, tearing them in half._

_"What are you doing?" Yumi demanded. "You worked so hard on those!"_

_"She's gone," he whispered._

_"I'm sure you'll find her. If you look hard enough."_

_"She's gone. She's gone! She's _gone!"_ Yumi looked at Ulrich and Odd who shrugged, looking uncertain as he ripped the pages over and over again. Finally Odd grabbed him, pulling the shredded papers from him. "They killed her!" he yelled._

_He was the last one to remember her._

_He had almost saved her._

_Almost.

* * *

_

"Mr. And Mrs. Belpois, I'm terribly sorry to give you this news," Mr. Klotz said solemnly. He watched his parents leaning forward, his mother wringing her hands together in her lap.

"What is it?" his father, always the practical one, asked gruffly.

"Your son seems to be suffering from delusions of a young lady who he claims to have been killed."

"Did you think to investigate? Maybe it's true!" his mother exclaimed.

"He says she was enrolled here but no one has heard of her. He also seems to be a tad confused about the dates, by a few months. I think he should be admitted for observational study at the local Psychiatric Hospital. Just for a few weeks. He's probably suffering from normal school pressure..."

"How many students dream up fake girls?" his father demanded.

"Well...That's confidential sir," Mr. Klotz stammered.

"Right," his father growled. "Come on Jeremie. I knew this school was a waste."

"Honey...maybe we should. Consider it at least," his mother said softly, tears in her eyes.

"What are you saying? Do you think our son is mental?"

"No." She bristled at the thought. "No," she repeated more firmly. "I just think he should maybe see someone. Maybe he needs someone to talk to..."

"He needs to get his head out of that computer!"

"Honey..."

"He's not going and that's final!"

He sat there, miserable, disinterested, thinking back on his life. He knew, _knew_ that she had been alive. He could remember, so vividly the time they had spent together. The laughter, the smiles, the...he could even remember how he felt when she'd kissed him that one time. How could he have imagined it all? But that's what they said. He had imagined it. She was gone.

_Gone._

The factory was demolished, he didn't remember that happening. He needed to see for himself. But he couldn't. They watched him too closely now. He would never see her again. Because she had disappeared into the night the very moment he had found the last calculation, finished the formula. She had left without a trace.

_"Jer, she was never alive."_

She had never lived...


End file.
